by Craig Laycock
Original article:
It’s been announced that there are to be three distinct opening ceremonies at the 2026 World Cup. Three opening ceremonies.
Whatever happened to “less is more”?
The overlords at FIFA obviously haven’t heard that maxim, with 48 teams at this year’s tournament and matches spread across three countries. But how do you keep three host nations happy? Well, you take the show on the road three times, of course!
Some might say that one opening ceremony is one too many, but here at The Tournament Scout we’re willing to accept tradition. You get a bowl of crisps, sit down with a beer and shuffle slightly uncomfortably on the sofa while Robbie Williams sings in front of a hoopla dancer, or Jennifer Lopez belts something out over a dodgy sound system.
It's not great, but it's just about bearable.
Multiply the experience by three, however, and we're getting into the realms of fucking excessive.
FIFA have announced the stars that will headline these three ceremonies, too, and we're just going to say that it's an interesting selection of artists they've plumped for.
The USA gets spacefarer Katy Perry. Canada gets the sorely overused Michael Buble, and Mexico gets Colombian reggae-ton star J Balvin and South African musician Tyla.
The Mexican ceremony we can get behind, but Katy Perry taking to the stage before the USA take on Paraguay (a team that can't score against a low block vs a team that sits in a low block) and Michael Buble emerging from his Christmas cave (frankly far too early) to croon ahead of Canada vs Bosnia & Herzegovina seems honestly a little bit too much.
Most people, you would imagine, are watching the World Cup for the sake of the football.
FIFA, however, is dead set on leveraging the opportunity of a USA/Canada/Mexico World Cup to stretch the limits of the demographics and plump the tournament into something akin to a Super Bowl, perhaps to justify the horrendous increase in ticket prices freezing out most fans from attending their teams’ games.
On the one hand, you could say they have the noble intentions of spreading the football gospel to the unconverted. But we all know it's actually about the moolah, the cold, hard cash. The dollar bills, y'all.
This World Cup is either going to work exactly as planned by FIFA, or be a stark reality check as they hit the limits of affordability and Buble-tolerance from the general football-viewing public. Either way, they're going to make a shitload of money.
And with that relentless capitalistic signal of success, I have a horrible feeling it’s going to be the former, and we can expect a lot more Buble in our futures.
Good lord.
6 min read
It’s been announced that there are to be three distinct opening ceremonies at the 2026 World Cup. Three opening ceremonies.
Whatever happened to “less is more”?
The overlords at FIFA obviously haven’t heard that maxim, with 48 teams at this year’s tournament and matches spread across three countries. But how do you keep three host nations happy? Well, you take the show on the road three times, of course!
Some might say that one opening ceremony is one too many, but here at The Tournament Scout we’re willing to accept tradition. You get a bowl of crisps, sit down with a beer and shuffle slightly uncomfortably on the sofa while Robbie Williams sings in front of a hoopla dancer, or Jennifer Lopez belts something out over a dodgy sound system.
It's not great, but it's just about bearable.
Multiply the experience by three, however, and we're getting into the realms of fucking excessive.
FIFA have announced the stars that will headline these three ceremonies, too, and we're just going to say that it's an interesting selection of artists they've plumped for.
The USA gets spacefarer Katy Perry. Canada gets the sorely overused Michael Buble, and Mexico gets Colombian reggae-ton star J Balvin and South African musician Tyla.
The Mexican ceremony we can get behind, but Katy Perry taking to the stage before the USA take on Paraguay (a team that can't score against a low block vs a team that sits in a low block) and Michael Buble emerging from his Christmas cave (frankly far too early) to croon ahead of Canada vs Bosnia & Herzegovina seems honestly a little bit too much.
Most people, you would imagine, are watching the World Cup for the sake of the football.
FIFA, however, is dead set on leveraging the opportunity of a USA/Canada/Mexico World Cup to stretch the limits of the demographics and plump the tournament into something akin to a Super Bowl, perhaps to justify the horrendous increase in ticket prices freezing out most fans from attending their teams’ games.
On the one hand, you could say they have the noble intentions of spreading the football gospel to the unconverted. But we all know it's actually about the moolah, the cold, hard cash. The dollar bills, y'all.
This World Cup is either going to work exactly as planned by FIFA, or be a stark reality check as they hit the limits of affordability and Buble-tolerance from the general football-viewing public. Either way, they're going to make a shitload of money.
And with that relentless capitalistic signal of success, I have a horrible feeling it’s going to be the former, and we can expect a lot more Buble in our futures.
Good lord.
Opinion: Three opening ceremonies is two too many
Buble's back, alright?
Original article:
Last updated:
It’s been announced that there are to be three distinct opening ceremonies at the 2026 World Cup. Three opening ceremonies.
Whatever happened to “less is more”?
The overlords at FIFA obviously haven’t heard that maxim, with 48 teams at this year’s tournament and matches spread across three countries. But how do you keep three host nations happy? Well, you take the show on the road three times, of course!
Some might say that one opening ceremony is one too many, but here at The Tournament Scout we’re willing to accept tradition. You get a bowl of crisps, sit down with a beer and shuffle slightly uncomfortably on the sofa while Robbie Williams sings in front of a hoopla dancer, or Jennifer Lopez belts something out over a dodgy sound system.
It's not great, but it's just about bearable.
Multiply the experience by three, however, and we're getting into the realms of fucking excessive.
FIFA have announced the stars that will headline these three ceremonies, too, and we're just going to say that it's an interesting selection of artists they've plumped for.
The USA gets spacefarer Katy Perry. Canada gets the sorely overused Michael Buble, and Mexico gets Colombian reggae-ton star J Balvin and South African musician Tyla.
The Mexican ceremony we can get behind, but Katy Perry taking to the stage before the USA take on Paraguay (a team that can't score against a low block vs a team that sits in a low block) and Michael Buble emerging from his Christmas cave (frankly far too early) to croon ahead of Canada vs Bosnia & Herzegovina seems honestly a little bit too much.
Most people, you would imagine, are watching the World Cup for the sake of the football.
FIFA, however, is dead set on leveraging the opportunity of a USA/Canada/Mexico World Cup to stretch the limits of the demographics and plump the tournament into something akin to a Super Bowl, perhaps to justify the horrendous increase in ticket prices freezing out most fans from attending their teams’ games.
On the one hand, you could say they have the noble intentions of spreading the football gospel to the unconverted. But we all know it's actually about the moolah, the cold, hard cash. The dollar bills, y'all.
This World Cup is either going to work exactly as planned by FIFA, or be a stark reality check as they hit the limits of affordability and Buble-tolerance from the general football-viewing public. Either way, they're going to make a shitload of money.
And with that relentless capitalistic signal of success, I have a horrible feeling it’s going to be the former, and we can expect a lot more Buble in our futures.
Good lord.
6 min read
Opinion: Three opening ceremonies is two too many
Buble's back, alright?
It’s been announced that there are to be three distinct opening ceremonies at the 2026 World Cup. Three opening ceremonies.
Whatever happened to “less is more”?
The overlords at FIFA obviously haven’t heard that maxim, with 48 teams at this year’s tournament and matches spread across three countries. But how do you keep three host nations happy? Well, you take the show on the road three times, of course!
Some might say that one opening ceremony is one too many, but here at The Tournament Scout we’re willing to accept tradition. You get a bowl of crisps, sit down with a beer and shuffle slightly uncomfortably on the sofa while Robbie Williams sings in front of a hoopla dancer, or Jennifer Lopez belts something out over a dodgy sound system.
It's not great, but it's just about bearable.
Multiply the experience by three, however, and we're getting into the realms of fucking excessive.
FIFA have announced the stars that will headline these three ceremonies, too, and we're just going to say that it's an interesting selection of artists they've plumped for.
The USA gets spacefarer Katy Perry. Canada gets the sorely overused Michael Buble, and Mexico gets Colombian reggae-ton star J Balvin and South African musician Tyla.
The Mexican ceremony we can get behind, but Katy Perry taking to the stage before the USA take on Paraguay (a team that can't score against a low block vs a team that sits in a low block) and Michael Buble emerging from his Christmas cave (frankly far too early) to croon ahead of Canada vs Bosnia & Herzegovina seems honestly a little bit too much.
Most people, you would imagine, are watching the World Cup for the sake of the football.
FIFA, however, is dead set on leveraging the opportunity of a USA/Canada/Mexico World Cup to stretch the limits of the demographics and plump the tournament into something akin to a Super Bowl, perhaps to justify the horrendous increase in ticket prices freezing out most fans from attending their teams’ games.
On the one hand, you could say they have the noble intentions of spreading the football gospel to the unconverted. But we all know it's actually about the moolah, the cold, hard cash. The dollar bills, y'all.
This World Cup is either going to work exactly as planned by FIFA, or be a stark reality check as they hit the limits of affordability and Buble-tolerance from the general football-viewing public. Either way, they're going to make a shitload of money.
And with that relentless capitalistic signal of success, I have a horrible feeling it’s going to be the former, and we can expect a lot more Buble in our futures.
Good lord.
6 min read